It has really been awhile since I last updated! Definitely, many many things had happened..

I sudden feel like posting something that I have in mind..

I don't know why.. But recently, I'm starting to lose confidence in things that I do and feel..

Not only in work.. But also in feelings towards people..

I know that guys don't really like gals who are very forward.. And I know that, sometimes, I can be very forward..

After that very bad experience of mine, I don't have the confidence to express my feelings n thoughts like before..

Right now.. A part of me is actually worried that if I were to be rejected, I might lose a good friend.. While other part of me is kinda worried that he might not know or notice the feelings I have towards him!
There's also a tiny part of me that worried that the bad history would repeat itself.. And he would have fallen for another person, who is among our clique..

I don't really wanna experience that kinda pain again! Once is already bad enough! I don't want need anymore of it to remind me how painful it is..

Although I'm getting to know him better nowadays.. I still can't help to think that he doesn't really want me to know him that well..

I understand that things are never really in our control.. What the other person's action and thinking are, would not be in our control too..

What I really hope now, would be able to know what is the feelings he has for me.. If possible, I would hope that he would reply my messages faster and show me more care and concern!

Hope that this would be able to come true~! :]

22^nd Dec 2010

Today it’s the first day in Thai.. It wasn’t really that exciting… My aunt still kinda blamed me for having my parents and my sis to send me off at the airport.

When we reached Thai, we waited for 1hr for the driver to pick us up from the airport, to our hotel… We were caught in the jam… and we reached the hotel 1hr later!

After we checked-in and stuffs, we had lunch at the food court, in the shopping centre, besides our hotel. It is strange… all the stalls there only accept coupons… so whenever we wanna buy something, or we had not enough coupons, we had to go to the counter to buy the coupons! =.=

Then, we went to shop at Platinum Shopping Centre… I bought a lot of things!!!! For one moment, I thought I was about to finish spending all the money that I brought there… But thank god I didn’t! hahaha.. We, then, headed for dinner in a Japanese Restaurant for dinner. The food there was actually not bad… and very affordable!!

After dinner, it’s of course, MORE SHOPPING!!! But this time round, I didn’t buy that much… I still bought some things though! Haha…

When we got back to the hotel, I noticed that cousin was not in the room, but I didn’t tell her aunt… because I thought that she went to the lobby to use the wifi… and would be back soon. Shortly after that, my aunt called me and nagged at me for not telling her that my cousin was not in the room. Luckily, she was sleeping in another room. But because she was too tire, she decided to sleep there… and I would be spending a night with my other aunt.

I don’t know whether I should be happy or upset… so many things happened… I feel kinda… detach… I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing… haiz…

I missed my friends at home… especially…

OK... I finally decided on my new blog skin.. after much procrastination that is..

I've been getting more and more lazy to create new blog skins... I kinda miss tat enthusiasm that I had before.

Anyways... I'm flying off to Thailand for 5 days in about another 6hrs or so...
Supposedly, I should be feeling happy and totally excited about the trip... But now.. I'm feel utterly reluctant to go...

Firstly.. I'm going on an overseas trip when I had just spent off the money I saved, all thanks to the 4 stupid wisdom teeth that I was asked to remove! Initially, I had saved enough for the trip... But because of the wisdom teeth, I had to make use of that saving.. thus, I'm going on a trip when I'm sort of broke... =.=

Next, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO ASKED MY PARENTS TO SEND ME TO THE AIRPORT AT 5AM! I told them many times that I can stay over at my aunt's if they find it not convenient!
But my aunt insisted that it is not right for me to ask my parents to do so..! "Think about the petrol and how tire they would be!!"
I know!!!! But my parents insisted that they wanna send me there... what else can I do?!
If I rejected my parents with a big NO, my mum would most probably complaint to my aunts about it.. then they would start blaming me for making my mum upset and stuff...
No matter what.. I'm still getting the blame.. thanks a lot man!

Lastly, I would missed out the Christmas Party that Celine, Sophia, Christina and Uncle Cheong is having!! I believe they are sure going to have a great time then!
As for me... I don't know where and what I'll be doing at that point of time... most probably shopping... shopping.. and more shopping..
I'm really going to miss that crazy group of people!!!


OK... I think I better go and rest now.. I need to be at the airport by 5.45am later... See ya~! ;D

Luckily, I made it in time to pay for for dental fees. I was so scared that I would miss the date again!!!

Over the past few days, I've been waiting for someone to transfer me the money so that I can pay for my dental... and that someone took 4 days to do that. I was so worried when I received a letter from the dental centre stating that if I didn't do any payment by this month, I would have to do the payment in one shot! I won't have some much money to pay everything at once!!

But luckily... that someone didnt fail me and I was able to do the payment in time. *relief*

It's weird.... today... I suddenly had this mixture of feelings.

I was happy that my friend asked me if I wanna join them for dinner... But when I met up with them... Then I noticed that my friend had sent the sms to the wrong person. That's why I received that sms.

Initially, I felt bad because I caused my friend to miss a ride to our dinner venue... But later... while waiting for another friend to fetch us... my friend asked "you're still here for??? Oh... you're joining us for dinner??" When I heard that I was very shocked. I lied and replied that I was thinking if I should join them or join my other friends for dinner. At that moment, I felt like I was forgotten by them. In the end, I decided to leave for home.

On my way home... I felt like crying.. I still though that I was already accepted into their clique..... But it seemed like otherwise now.

I tried talking to some of my friends about my mixture of feelings.. they kept saying that it's a mis-communication and I don't have to take it to heart. But that question asked by my friend was really hurtful.

After chatting with to of my friends, I felt better. Thank you~~!! ^^

Hmm... May be at that point of time I was really thinking too much... (I really hoped that I AM thinking too much)... But the truth is only known by the person asked that question.

I think I can't go m'sia too much... This is the second time already!!!! I went to m'sia and I got sick after I got back!

This is very irritating! I can't go into m'sia, because my car is still weird, and I'll get sick after that.... =.=

Haiz... Hopefully this is due to the weather... I wanna get well soon~~!
>.<

I'm feeling that my blog is rotting!! Haha.
Many many things had been happening around me... But I just don't know where and how to start.

And now with so many things to blog about... I'm feeling lazy to blog about them. Hahahahahah.

Hmm... I don't know anyone would bother whether I blogged or not.
Anyway... I shall start my blogging thingy again.

Till next time~~~!! Bye~!