Saturday, December 09, 2006
@ 1:19 am
Recently too many thing had happened ard me & e ppl ard me.
Ppl were breaking downone by one... it's like there's tis force tat had course them to behave tis way.
Anyway, I juz met up wif my Sec. sch frenz yest to watch the performance put up by SP Dance & Cheer group and their special guest.. I love the performance a lot... But hanging out wif tat gang of frenz made me feel very left out.
In fact, I nv reali like hanging out wif them a lot... If I were to choose betweeen hanging out wif my poly frenz or my Sec. sch frenz, I'll choose my poly frenz.
I was somehow nt very welcome in any of e group in my Sec. sch life. Even though they include me as one of their "members", but they were o ways hiding things frm me (even nw they r still doing tat). If I were to ask them abt it, my words would juz fall into deaf ears. And no matter wat they did or planned, I'm O WAYS e last to kuw abt it (unless I'm needed in tat situation, den I'll b e 1st person tat come to their mind, eg. cooking food for Sentosa outing, or do those things tat none of them wanna do). They were all having their mask on when they r wif me, n bhind my back, they where bitching abt me.
I juz don get it! If u don like to hang out wif me, y r they all still forcing themselves to!? Don they find it very troublesome!? I mean don they find it a pain to hold back their true self in front of me n can only go back to their true self when I'm nt there?!
I once asked one of them, whom clained tat she forgive me, wat made them behaved tat way, but she didnt give me a definate ans. She juz beat ard e bushes n changed e topic. How can she claim tat she forgive me when she cant even give me a definate ans?! N Y DOES SHE HV TO FORGIVE ME WHEN I DON THINK I DID ANYTHING WRONG?????!!!!!!
I told them, they can b frank wif me. I'm totally OK wif it. I mean frenz r supposed to let u kuw e truth rite... They shld tell u wat do they think abt u n nt go ard n talk bhind ur back. Mayb they r nt used to telling ppl e truth abt wat do they think abt ppl, but I definately wan my frenz to tell me their true views n thoughts abt me. I would accept all comments & compliments. If they allow me to, I'll let them kuw wat I truely feel abt them.
I believe tat we human improve by getting both comments & compliment frm other ppl as there's a saying "the person seeing the situation sees a better view den those who r in e situation". N it is oso thru such communication, friendships r strengthen. Thru tis kind of exchange, we get t kuw each other better and we can oso learn frm "mistakes".
Aiyo.. I blog for so long le ar.. I think I'll stop here nw... gtg n ZzZz le.. C ya ^^